Happy 1st Birthday, Silas!!

Wow...it's been a loooong time since I've written a post on here! There is so much to catch up on, but I will save that for another post. Last Friday (10/19) Silas turned 1 year old!! He had a lot of fun with friends and family! I found it all to be way more stressful than I thought it would be, but everything went great and fun was had by all! Chaske's whole family came up to ND to celebrate and most of them met Silas for the first time. On Friday we spent the day at home playing. That evening we invited my parents over for some cupcakes and opened a few presents. Saturday morning we took family pictures, Silas' 1 year pictures, went out to eat, went to Papa's Pumpkin Patch, relaxed at the hotel for a bit, went to Bruno's for pizza, cake, ice cream, and presents, then went back to the hotel to go swimming- which is for sure one of Silas' favorite past times :) I am so thankful for the friends and family who celebrated with us, gave us gifts and cards, and just wished Silas a "Happy Birthday". It's amazing how loved our little guy is. So many people truly care about him...I love the small town support from our community, friends, and family. There is so much that has happened since I last posted, however, I need to get to work...so it will have to wait for another day :) Tasha

Faulk Adoption Fundraiser

As many of you know Chaske and I recently adopted a, now 5 month old, baby boy- Silas!! However, in the mean time some things have come up and we've had to hire a lawyer. Due to this we have set up a fundraiser to help pay for expenses. For those of you who know Chaske and I we have tried really hard to not ask for money throughout our adoption process...and we haven't had to...until now. We so appreciate any amount you can afford to give. For every $10 you donate we will enter your name in a drawing to win: ~ 26" Sharp LED TV (approx. retail value- $495) ~ 13" Haier LCD TV ac/dc (approx. retail value- $275) ~ Black Bosch Dishwasher w/ stainless steel interior (approx. retail value- $595) These are some really nice items that were generously donated to us in order to help us raise money to keep Silas in our arms forever!!! Please visit: http://acharityproject.com/f/FaulkAdoptionFundraiser There you will find more information on our situation along with a place to donate. This is a very trusted/secure website that has been used by some of our friends before. It's very simple to donate!! Make sure you enter your name if you wish to be entered for prizes...if you don't want to be entered you can donate as anonymous if you wish. If you aren't comfortable donating online you can mail us a check and we will enter your name into the drawing: 43402 57 Ave NE Driscoll, ND 58532 Thank you, Chaske, Tasha, and Silas James

2011

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before? Went to a casino for my work's Christmas party...turns out- I haven't been missing much. 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't take resolutions very serious. My main goal was to adopt a baby...this is also my main goal this year! 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Lots of friends and some family. 4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes. A man from our community. 5. What countries did you visit? None. And that really disappoints me. We need to start doing mission trips in Africa. 6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? A baby :) 7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Going to pick up, who was to be, our son. Our 2 year anniversary. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Growing more in our faith. Sponsoring a "H"...our sponsor child in Africa!! Love him! 9. What was your biggest failure? Not doing more to serve God and others. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not really. 11. What was the best thing you bought? Keurig 12. Where did most of your money go? Bills, bills, bills...gas, food...everywhere but where it should. 13. What did you get really excited about? Adoption. Spending time with family and friends. Christmas. Camping. Buying the farm (hopefully)! 14. What song will always remind you of 2011? Oh I don't know...something from The Band Perry maybe? 15. Compared to this time last year, are you: – happier or sadder? About the same...maybe happier – thinner or fatter? Probably a few pounds heavier...bleh! – richer or poorer? Richer. 16. What do you wish you’d done more of? Camping. Traveling out West. Church. 17. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying. TV. Facebook. 18. How did you spend Christmas? Our tradition is to always spend Christmas at home. We love it...it's so relaxing and fun to spend it with my parents as well. 19. What was your favorite TV program? Desperate Housewives...as always :) 20. What were your favorite books of the year? Where to start...Kisses from Katie (my favorite!), Twilight (yes, I gave in), New Moon, Mary Higgins Clark books, Chelsea Handler books... 21. What was your favorite music from this year? George Strait is always my favorite...anything country 22. What were your favorite films of the year? I haven't really watched many...none that stand out anyway. 23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Cake, gifts...just relaxed and kept it low key. I turned 26...bleh! 24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Bringing home a baby...do you see a pattern here?!? :) 25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Same...jeans, boots... 26. What kept you sane? Chaske, my family, our adoption goal as something to look forward to and work towards. 27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011. A little bit of faith goes a long way!!!!!!

I'm slacking...and I know it

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged and honestly…I just am not in the mood. However, I think it’s important to update those of you who follow my blog and let you know where we’re at with our adoption.

On July 7th we were matched with a birth mom from Florida who was due to have a bi-racial baby boy September 6th. We accepted and were SO excited!!! In the next 2 months that followed we got prepared, received baby boy clothes, and just could not believe how lucky we were!! We talked on the phone with the birth mom several times and texted with her almost daily just to keep updated on how she was doing and to talk about her doctor appointments. We were lucky to get to know her. She was very nice and supportive of us and was grateful to be able to choose a family for this little guy. A family she knew would love him and could provide for him the life she wanted him to have. A life she felt, at this time, she could not give him and said he “deserved it”. I was surprised by the mixed emotions I felt in these conversations we had with her. We were so excited to be bringing a baby home, but we knew it came with a significant loss. My heart broke for her as I know she so badly wanted to be the one who could provide that life for him.

On Sept 5th we were told by the agency in FL that she was having contractions, etc…and that it wouldn’t be long. We drove to Minneapolis that afternoon and got the call around 6am on Sept 6th that the birth mom was being taken to the hospital and it was only a matter of time. By the time we had booked tickets, got the airport and start boarding the plane she had given birth!!! We were thrilled when we go the call and a picture of him! He was beautiful…possibly the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Long story short…we flew down, met birth mom, everything went great, however, we did not end up bringing him home with us. We got to bring him back to our hotel for a few days, but things ended up not working out and we had to turn him over to the agency/foster care. We were heartbroken to come back without a baby. We had to believe this all happened for a reason. God has a plan in everything. He placed us in this situation for a reason…a reason we may not be able to see now, but some day we will. We pray for him every day and think about him all the time. Maybe that was God’s plan all along!

During our stay in FL we were blessed to celebrate our 2 year anniversary. Although the conditions weren’t ideal it made us realize that when everything around us is falling apart…we still had each other. We made it a point to enjoy our day by going to the beach and doing some shopping at the little stores along the bay. It was stressful and Josiah was NEVER far from our minds, but we knew we had to be strong and move forward. We flew back to North Dakota a couple days later and continued on with our lives. It was hard to come back empty handed. It was hard to face people. To have people ask “where’s your baby?” when they didn’t know the story. Through it all we have been SO blessed to have our family and friends around us to support us.

We have kept our story pretty private and have only told a select few. There really is no reason for everyone to know what happened in our situation. All we ask for are prayers.

We meet with our social worker Thursday evening at 6pm. We are hoping that in having a meeting with her we are able to move forward. We feel we have given ourselves enough time to grieve. That’s not to say he’s not a part of our thoughts and prayers anymore because he always will be a part of us, but we are ready to move forward. There are so many children that need forever families and we cannot wait to get back out there and see what’s in store for us!

I will keep you posted. We also want to thank everyone who sent gifts and cards and called to lend your support. We so appreciate it.

Tasha & Chaske

Catching up...

Wow, things have been sooo hectic around here lately. So much to do…so little time!!

This past weekend we had the Biegler Family Reunion. We have this every year on the 3rd weekend of August. It was a blast as always!! Good food, family, and softball. It was a beautiful day as well…only in the 70’s!! Nice contrast to the past years where it’s typically in the upper 80’s-90’s. It was so nice to be around family…Chaske and I truly enjoy and appreciate all the family we have around us here. Also, the morning of the reunion the guys went golfing…this yearly tradition is one Chaske just loves! He fits right in with our family…he really appreciates and enjoys his time with them.

In more “catch up news”- we also made a trip the cities in the middle of July to see my cousin and her family! We got to meet their new addition Easton!! He is sooo cute! We had a blast…visiting them is always a good time! We try to make that visit a yearly mini-vacation! :) Visiting them this time around also meant we got to see my cousin’s husband before he gets sent off to Afghanistan. Sad to see him leave his family and newborn baby boy, but we are very proud of him and hope for a safe return. One of the best parts of this trip was knowing in a month they would be coming back to stay with us for the family reunion…so saying goodbye wasn’t so sad…this time around anyway. Their little guy Aiden just loves Chaske. They are definitely best buds for life :) He even made a countdown for returning for the reunion…so cute! I also got to watch my cousin’s daughter Deja play soccer…very cool!! We loved every second we spent with them- my cousin’s husband Mark also took Chaske to go tubing down the river with his friends…very cool! If you know Chaske- he’s always up for some water adventure! Being around that little baby boy definitely made me even more impatient :)

So, all in all, it’s been a fun summer. Busy, but fun! Being around family and having fun is helping distract ourselves from waiting for our little one! So far, it’s working…our family and friends are so supportive around here…we couldn’t ask for more!!

Hope you’re enjoying your summer!!!

Until next time…

Tasha & Chaske

Africa

So- as many of you probably have heard and seen there is a major crisis going on for the horn of Africa. This includes countries such as Ethiopia, Somalia, Kenya...It is truly heartbreaking. I can't help, but feel the need to do more than just donate and pray. I hope that you find it in your hearts to do something to help these people. Anything is better than nothing at all. You may feel like you don't make a difference, but any little bit here is huge over there. Even if the amount you donate provides food for one starving child for a short period of time...it's something! We are all called to help one another. I know it's easier to turn away and go about your day, but that doesn't make it right!!! It's so easy to donate and cut something simple out of your life for awhile...starbucks, pedi/mani, whatever...just do something! :)

If you want to help a really good website is: http://www.wvi.org/wvi/wviweb.nsf

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

What we want you to know once baby comes home

Dear Family & Friends,

We want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone around our baby to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation - emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In many ways, our baby will be just like any other baby. However, we have done a great deal of research on bonding and attachment. While many people think a baby doesn’t feel a loss at such a young age- they do. Our baby will know things are different and will most likely recognize their loss.

Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need and communicates that need. The primary caretaker (usually mom) meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent; the baby is hungry, cries in distress, mom feeds & calms the baby - which teaches them that this person is safe and can be trusted. By God’s very design, an emotional foundation is laid in the tiniest of babies, which will affect their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents will, ultimately, give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts. The good news is that we can rebuild that attachment and help them heal from these emotional wounds. When our baby comes home, he/she will be overwhelmed. Everything around them will be new and they will need to learn not just about their new environment, but also about love and family. The best way for us to form a parent/child bond is to be the ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed him/her. As this repeats between us, they will be able to learn that parents are safe to trust and to love deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once they start to establish this important bond, they will then be able to branch out to other, healthy relationships.

Our little one will have, what may seem like, a lot of structure, boundaries and close proximity to us. Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made choices based on immense amounts of research and instruction from trusted adoption mentors. We will be doing what we believe is best to help them heal from those interruptions in attachment as effectively as possible. Why are we telling you all of this? Because you will actually play an awesome and vital role in helping our baby settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future. There are a few areas in which you can help us:

The first is to set physical boundaries. It will help us immensely if adults limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging and kissing. Adopted children are prone to attaching to anyone and everyone too easily- which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. Waving, blowing kisses or high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcomed!

Another area is redirecting our baby’s desire to have his physical and emotional needs met by anyone (including strangers) to having us meet them. A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are “very friendly” but this is actually quite dangerous for the child. To share this is difficult for us because we have snuggled, cared for, fed and loved so many of your children. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have baby Faulk hugged, cuddled and cherished by ALL of you. But until they have a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct him/her to us if you see that he/she is seeking out food, affection or comfort.

Please know we are new at this and all babies are different. Our little one may attach right away or it might take months. None of this is written in stone until we bring our little one home and get a feel for everything!

We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us. We couldn’t ask for better friends and family. Thank you so much for your love and support . If you have any questions please feel free to ask at any time!


Chaske & Tasha

Moving forward

As many of you know, Chaske and I faced a really hard decision this week. Last Thursday we were asked if we would be interested in adopting twin 4 year old boys. We were hesitant initially as we are prepared for a baby. We have had our nursery set up for 2 months. And mentally, we were expecting to be matched with a baby. However, something in us decided to proceed. The birth mom wanted a family without children and the agency really liked our profile and was very interested in us. We took the weekend to think about it. By Sunday, Chaske was feeling pretty good about the decision to say yes to them. I still was going back and forth. When Monday came around the agency said the mom was on her way into the agency and wanted to know if everyone was still comfortable with showing their profiles. Originally, we were told the agency was choosing the family…so we said sure we still feel pretty good about it. The mom ended up taking the profiles she liked home that night to decide. The next day (Tuesday) we were informed she had picked us! Our social worker called to let us know the good news, but said to let her know how we were feeling. Typically, once the birth mom chooses you, you shouldn’t say no. However, since this isn’t what we were prepared for our social worker said to let her know. I went to pick up Chaske from work and we talked it over for about an hour and a half and I just couldn’t get there. I SO wanted to. I really struggled with my feelings…and still am. I wanted to bring those boys home…no doubt. We would have loved them and got through whatever tough times there would have been during attachment. BUT part of me really wanted to bring home a baby. There were a lot of tears…Chaske was ready to call her back and say “let’s do it!” I just didn’t think it was fair to these boys that my heart wasn’t completely there. That’s not to say it wouldn’t have been there once the time came…actually I’m pretty sure that baby dream would have faded once we brought them home. Plus, we plan to adopt multiple times…so eventually that baby dream would have came true. I prayed if it was meant to be that it would be put on my heart more…as I really was 50/50. So, we said no and that was that. Then yesterday (Wednesday) our social worker called and asked if we were still comfortable with our decision. I told her not really and that I was still struggling with whether it was the right thing to do. I was really sad and I actually missed those boys. Like we had lost them. She said that we most likely started to attach to them already then. Probably true. She said the mom still hadn’t picked a family as she really liked us and didn’t think much of the others she had taken home. She said she could call back down to Texas and tell them we were back in it, but we had to be sure if we were picked again we would be ready to accept. She said to think about it and call her back if we wanted to be reconsidered. I hung up feeling so many emotions. I was excited that it wasn’t too late and they could still be ours! I talked to a lot of adoptive moms over the weekend and just kept replaying all the pros and cons, etc…I prayed a ton and I just couldn’t get myself there all the way. I know this is normal and we might even feel this uncertainty with bringing home a newborn. I know it’s normal to feel scared and still proceed. I just couldn’t do it. I pictured myself taking down the nursery I was so excited for…it broke my heart. Either way I was sad. Either way we were gaining and losing something. I gave myself the day to think and I told myself if the mom chooses a different family then that’s that. She did. I felt a relief…maybe that’s what I needed? I needed to know they would be ok. I am still sad and struggling today, but I have no doubt their mom picked a great forever family for those boys. A family that is probably “there” and prepared for them and really excited! I miss them…we feel like we lost “our” boys. However, this is what we signed up for. I was told by a good friend and adoptive mom “It’s OK to wait for a baby. And it’s OK to jump right in. There is no wrong or right answer and no matter what you guys choose it will all work out perfectly. God has a plan for you guys and these boys.” So while it’s been a rough last few days…we have had the most AMAZING support from our friends and family. We feel so blessed to have an amazing social worker and a great group of adoptive families around us. The ones who have been there and done that are the only ones who really understand the feelings we were faced with and the situation we were dealt. Many of them have faced this exact situation so they were great inspiration to us! We are so thankful to have even been considered for those boys! They will probably always be in our thoughts and prayers from here on out! I can honestly say we are looking forward to bringing home a little one and I’m still excited to keep our nursery! It’s really special to us! There are many children that need homes and families…that includes babies! I know it’s perfectly normal to want a baby as a first time mom…and that it’s ok to wait for one! Although…the wait is HARD! I was excited to have that part over with :) Bring on the baby! Thank you to everyone who got us through these past few days. It is SO appreciated!! It’s times like these that make you realize your real friends and family!!

Happy Thursday!